A Christmas Carol For Bill O'Reilly

Sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells"

Oh the holiday season's here
But O'Reilly has no cheer
It seems all he can see
Are threats to Christianity
If you don't tow the line
And say Merry Christmas each time
He'll think you are shameless
Wicked, evil and ruthless

Oh Christmas is here
Let's make it clear
There's no room for other holidays
Leave Hanukah out
And there's no doubt
That Kwanzaa’s just a phase

The solstice is vile
And Ramadan's just a pile....
Well you know what he'd say
So listen to Bill
Before he gets more shrill
And DAMMIT
Say Merry Christmas to all today.